ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Dale Harbison Carnegie was an American writer and lecturer and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking, and interpersonal skills. Born into poverty on a farm in Missouri, he was the author of ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ (1936), a bestseller that remains popular today. He also wrote ‘How to Stop Worrying and Start Living’ (1948), ‘Lincoln the Unknown’ (1932), and several other books. One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people's behaviour by changing one's behaviour toward them.
How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
“Dale Carnegie's timeless advice is more relevant than ever in the stressful, fast-paced twenty-first century. Learn how to break the worry habit - Now and forever!” - M. Sango
In this classic work, ‘How to Stop Worrying and Start Living’, Carnegie offers a set of practical formulas that you can put to work today. It is a book packed with lessons that will last a lifetime and make that lifetime happier!
Fascinating to read and easy to apply, ‘How to Stop Worrying and Start Living’ deals with fundamental emotions and life-changing ideas. There's no need to live with worry and anxiety that keep you from enjoying a full, active life!
How to Win Friends and Influence People
It’s said that the only diploma that hangs in Warren Buffett’s office is his certificate from Dale Carnegie Training.
Dale Carnegie’s ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’, which turned 75 a few years back, has sold more than 30 million copies and continues to be a bestseller. It is a timeless bestseller, packed with rock-solid advice that has carried thousands of now famous people up the ladder of success in their businesses and personal lives.
As relevant as ever before, Dale Carnegie's principles endure, and will help you achieve your maximum potential in the complex and competitive modern age.
Dale Carnegie's Rules on How to Win Friends and Influence People
SIX WAYS TO MAKE PEOPLE LIKE YOU
- Become genuinely interested in other people.
- Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
- Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
- Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
- Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
WIN PEOPLE TO YOUR WAY OF THINKING
- The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, “You’re wrong.”
- If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.
- Begin in a friendly way.
- Get the other person saying “yes, yes” immediately.
- Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.
- Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.
- Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.
- Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.
- Appeal to the nobler motives.
- Dramatize your ideas.
- Throw down a challenge.
BE A LEADER
- Begin with praise and honest appreciation.
- Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.
- Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
- Ask questions instead of giving direct orders.
- Let the other person save face.
- Praise the slightest improvement and praise every improvement. Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
- Give the other person a fine reputation to live up to.
- Use encouragement. Make the fault seem easy to correct.
- Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.
Dale Carnegie's Tips on How to Stop Worrying and Start Living
How To Lessen Your Financial Worries
- Get the facts down on paper.
- Get a tailor-made budget that really fits your needs.
- Learn how to spend wisely.
- Don’t increase your headaches with your income.
- Try to build credit, in the event you must borrow.
- Protect yourself against illness, fire, and emergency expenses.
- Do not have your life-insurance proceeds paid to your widow in cash.
- Teach your children a responsible attitude toward money.
- If necessary, make a little extra money off your kitchen stove.
- Don’t gamble-ever.
- If we can’t possibly improve our financial situation, let’s be good to ourselves and stop resenting what can’t be changed.
FUNDAMENTAL TECHNIQUES IN HANDLING PEOPLE
How to Break the Worry Habit Before it Breaks You
- Crowd worry out of your mind by keeping busy. Plenty of action is one of the best therapies ever devised for curing “wibber gibbers”.
- Don’t fuss about trifles. Don’t permit little things-the mere termites of life-to ruin your happiness.
- Use the law of averages to outlaw your worries. Ask yourself: “What are the odds against this thing’s happening at all?”
- Co-operate with the inevitable. If you know a circumstance is beyond your power to change or revise, say to yourself “It is so; it cannot be otherwise.”
- Put a “stop-loss” order on your worries. Decide just how much anxiety a thing may be worth and refuse to give it any more.
- Let the past bury its dead. Don’t saw sawdust.
Four Good Working Habits that will Help Prevent Fatigue and Worry
- Clear your desk of all papers except those relating to the immediate problem at hand.
- Do things in the order of their importance.
- When you face a problem, solve it then and there if you have the facts necessary to make a decision. Don’t keep putting off decisions.
- Learn to organise, deputise, and supervise.
Seven Ways to Cultivate a Mental Attitude that will Bring You Peace and Happiness
- Let’s fill our minds with thoughts of peace, courage, health, and hope, for “our life is what our thoughts make it”.
- Let’s never try to get even with our enemies, because if we do we will hurt ourselves far more than we hurt them.
- Let’s do as General Eisenhower does: let’s never waste a minute thinking about people we don’t like.
- Instead of worrying about ingratitude, let’s expect it. Let’s remember that Jesus healed ten lepers in one day-and only one thanked Him. Why should we expect more gratitude than Jesus got?
- Let’s remember that the only way to find happiness is not to expect gratitude-but to give for the joy of giving.
- Let’s remember that gratitude is a “cultivated” trait; so if we want our children to be grateful, we must train them to be grateful.
- Count your blessings-not your troubles!
- Let’s not imitate others. Let’s find ourselves and be ourselves, for “envy is ignorance” and “imitation is suicide”.
- When fate hands us a lemon, let’s try to make lemonade.
- Let’s forget our own unhappiness-by trying to create a little happiness for others. “When you are good to others, you are best to yourself.
Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of These Books
Nine Suggestions on How to Get the Most Out of These Books
- If you wish to get the most out of these books, there is one indispensable requirement, one essential infinitely more important than any rule or technique. Unless you have this one fundamental requisite, a thousand rules on how to study will avail little. And if you do have this cardinal endowment, then you can achieve wonders without reading any suggestions for getting the most out of a book. What is this magic requirement? Just this: a deep, driving desire to learn, a vigorous determination to increase your ability to deal with people. How can you develop such an urge? By constantly reminding yourself how important these principles are to you. Picture to yourself how their mastery will aid you in leading a richer, fuller, happier and more fulfilling life. Say to yourself over and over: “My popularity, my happiness and sense of worth depend to no small extent upon my skill in dealing with people.”
- Read each chapter rapidly at first to get a bird’s-eye view of it. You will probably be tempted then to rush on to the next one. But don’t – unless you are reading merely for entertainment. But if you are reading because you want to increase your skill inhuman relations, then go back and reread each chapter thoroughly. In the long run, this will mean saving time and getting results.
- Stop frequently in your reading to think over what you are reading. Ask yourself just how and when you can apply each suggestion.
- Read with a crayon, pencil, pen, magic marker or highlighter in your hand. When you come across a suggestion that you feel you can use, draw a line beside it. If it is a four-star suggestion, then underscore every sentence or highlight it, or mark it with “****.” Marking and underscoring a book makes it more interesting, and far easier to review rapidly.
- I knew a woman who had been office manager for a large insurance concern for fifteen years. Every month, she read all the insurance contracts her company had issued that month. Yes, she read many of the same contracts over month after month, year after year. Why? Because experience had taught her that that was the only way she could keep their provisions clearly in mind.I once spent almost two years writing a book on public speaking and yet I found I had to keep going back over it from time to time in order to remember what I had written in my own book. The rapidity with which we forget is astonishing.So, if you want to get a real, lasting benefit out of this book, don’t imagine that skimming through it once will suffice. After reading it thoroughly, you ought to spend a few hours reviewing it every month. Keep it on your desk in front of you every day. Glance through it often. Keep constantly impressing yourself with the rich possibilities for improvement that still lie in the offing. Remember that the use of these principles can be made habitual only by a constant and vigorous campaign of review and application. There is no other way.
- Bernard Shaw once remarked: “If you teach a man anything, he will never learn.” Shaw was right. Learning is an active process. We learn by doing. So, if you desire to master the principles you are studying in this book, do something about them. Apply these rules at every opportunity. If you don’t you will forget them quickly. Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.You will probably find it difficult to apply these suggestions all the time. I know because I wrote the book, and yet frequently I found it difficult to apply everything I advocated. For example, when you are displeased, it is much easier to criticize and condemn than it is to try to understand the other person’s viewpoint. It is frequently easier to find fault than to find praise. It is more natural to talkabout what you want than to talk about what the other person wants. And so on. So, as you read this book, remember that you are not merely trying to acquire information. You are attempting to form new habits. Ah yes, you are attempting a new way of life. That will require time and persistence and daily application.So refer to these pages often. Regard this as a working handbook on human relations; and whenever you are confronted with some specific problem – such as handling a child, winning your spouse to your way of thinking, or satisfying an irritated customer – hesitate about doing the natural thing, the impulsive thing. This is usually wrong. Instead, turn to these pages and review the paragraphs you have underscored. Then try these new ways and watch them achieve magic for you.
- Offer your spouse, your child or some business associate a dime or a dollar every time he or she catches you violating a certain principle. Make a lively game out of mastering these rules.
- The president of an important Wall Street bank once described, in a talk before one of my classes, a highly efficient system he used for self-improvement. This man had little formal schooling; yet he had become one of the most important financiers in America, and he confessed that he owedmost of his success to the constant application of his homemade system. This is what he does. I’ll put it in his own words as accurately as I can remember.
“For years I have kept an engagement book showing all the appointments I had during the day. My family never made any plans for me on Saturday night, for the family knew that I devoted a part of each Saturday evening to the illuminating process of self-examination and review and appraisal. After dinner I went off by myself, opened my engagement book, and thought over all the interviews, discussions and meetings that had taken place during the week. I asked myself: ‘What mistakes did I make that time?’ ‘What did I do that was right – and in what way could I have improved my performance?’ ‘What lessons can I learn from that experience?’ “I often found that this weekly review made me very unhappy. I was frequently astonished at my own blunders. Of course, as the years passed, these blunders became less frequent. Sometimes I was inclined to pat myself on the back a little after one of these sessions. This system of self-analysis, self-education, continued year after year, did more for me than any other one thing I have ever attempted.
“It helped me improve my ability to make decisions – and it aided me enormously in all my contacts with people. I cannot recommend it too highly.” Why not use a similar system to check up on your application of the principles discussed in this book? If you do, two things will result. First, you will find yourself engaged in an educational process that is both intriguing and priceless. Second, you will find that your ability to meet and deal with people will grow enormously.
- You should record your triumphs in the application of these principles. Be specific. Give names, dates, results. Keeping such a record will inspire you to greater efforts; and how fascinating these entries will be when you chance upon them some evening years from now!
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